reminds me of some thing

Why do you choose to draw?

Sometimes I can't stop creating, and I don't know why. I never believed in talent and the saying that someone is made to do some particular profession. This may be the same as game addicts: "Any of their operations can get feedback quickly." I saw the results on the paper the next second I drew, which may be a kind of motivation for the brain.

The second possibility is that I can forget my existence through creation. When I'm creating, I will hide and avoid everything that can remind me who I am. Subjectively I hate myself, I want to disappear, and I don't care about my existence.

What comes with creation？

The stages before and after the creative process are the most painful, bringing doubt, self-criticism, fear, and procrastination.

I used to spend a lot of time trying to get recognized through art, hoping that people would be surprised by what I did and think I was a capable person, but I'm not sure it worked out.

I want to create freely. I have been avoiding those imaginary gazes from the crowd and fearing other people, but I can't escape the defect that I must rely on the evaluation and approval of others to recognize my own value.

It pains me to keep painting subjects and styles that I have no interest in for the money.

I want to try to be steady while creating, a little unexpected deviation will make me anxious and miserable, I want to try new things but I am afraid of making mistakes, I'm afraid of showing that I'm not good at something, but no one is as good as an expert when they first learn something

the first picture of you

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